I'm not apologizing because I was pulled into something I couldn't avoid. I'm apologizing because you should have never had to 'get it'. It's a horrible feeling, and I wish it on no one.
[ He nods to the description of Lycaon. It was true. The Wolf was much better with tasks than being left alone to his own devices. That wasn't really his problem at the moment. He can only hope that the wolf didn't just start pacing and shedding instead of doing something.
Hugo hesitated before giving the answer he was going to, thinking about it more. ]
I'm... fine. None of my problems stem from my death and purgatory wait. If anything, that was just perplexing given Thanatos being so silent and compliant to remain with me.
[ How does he put it? ]
No one was supposed to miss me. Especially not Lycaon. This iteration of Mockingbird was made so that it could vanish in an instant. Never to be seen again. At some point, I let that dog change that ideal without even noticing.
[ it hits him then that Hugo must have listened to the message he had left him when the anxiety and loneliness were gnawing away on his heart and mind. he had rambled, begging to an empty void to give back what he had lost knowing how pointless it was. ]
It was about time I got a taste of my own medicine, don't you think? But it is fine, really.
[ the moment the words "my death and purgatory" brush past his ears Mollymauk stiffens, his eyes going wide and mouth slightly agape. he all but speed runs the five stages of grief, unable to stop his emotions from flashing across his expressions. he hates it when his gut feelings are right, when those damn visions of his come true. ]
Firstly, there was always going to be someone who missed you. [ even if it might not of seemed that way at the time, Mollymauk would've noticed if Hugo had stopped crossing his path. he would've mourned the man and drank in his honor. ] Secondly, did you really let him change that ideal? Or was always destined to end up that way? Is it such a terrible thing that it's changed?
I don't know if I agree. Someone who is fiercely stubborn and unwilling to let you escape might be more what you should 'get a taste of'.
[ It was his way of saying that what Molly needed was someone who makes him stay, not someone who's willing to perpetuate the fear. Regardless, Hugo sigh's slowly. ]
Are you saying you would have missed me, Mollymauk? I'm touched. Using such words like 'destined', though. People are going to think I've infected you. [ A small smile pulls at his lips. ]
I'm not going to give him more credit than he deserves. You, as well as Lia, are things I have acquired by myself. He was the influence that made these things more than they used to be, as well as other points. The way I thought things would turn out didn't happen.
But. No. I am not saying the change is bad.
I worried about leaving you. I wouldn't have bothered before.
[ but there is a flash of understanding across his features. it hasn't slipped his notice that it wasn't just the heavy weight of finding Caleb again but the combination of the wizard, Hugo and Lycaon that planted his feet heavily into Kaisou's soil. that not once has he tried to engage in any sort of casual dalliance with Caleb despite his expressed desire to do so. he has given the wizard space in part out of respect and out of fear he might misstep.
but thinking about all that makes his skin itch and his attention is far more focused on the friends he almost lost. ]
'Course I would've missed you. As messy as we were, as we still are, you're my dearest friend. They can think you've infected me if they want, it'll just make the surprise when they learn I've always been like this even sweeter.
[ Molly tilts his head listening the soft 'thump' of his tail lashing about in the background as his expression shifts, the mask he usually wears in conversation utterly tossed aside. of course he wouldn't have bothered worrying about something like that before, the promise of crossing paths again was always there but never fully promised. neither of them could hold onto such a hope given the crowds they frequented. better to accept the worst possible outcome before it has even happened and protect yourself from the heartache.
but things are different here, they are different. ]
They say we think about the things that matter the most to us before we die. [ he laughs, the sound soft and a little pained remembering the message he had left Hugo in his absence. ]
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no subject
[ He nods to the description of Lycaon. It was true. The Wolf was much better with tasks than being left alone to his own devices. That wasn't really his problem at the moment. He can only hope that the wolf didn't just start pacing and shedding instead of doing something.
Hugo hesitated before giving the answer he was going to, thinking about it more. ]
I'm... fine. None of my problems stem from my death and purgatory wait. If anything, that was just perplexing given Thanatos being so silent and compliant to remain with me.
[ How does he put it? ]
No one was supposed to miss me. Especially not Lycaon. This iteration of Mockingbird was made so that it could vanish in an instant. Never to be seen again. At some point, I let that dog change that ideal without even noticing.
no subject
It was about time I got a taste of my own medicine, don't you think? But it is fine, really.
[ the moment the words "my death and purgatory" brush past his ears Mollymauk stiffens, his eyes going wide and mouth slightly agape. he all but speed runs the five stages of grief, unable to stop his emotions from flashing across his expressions. he hates it when his gut feelings are right, when those damn visions of his come true. ]
Firstly, there was always going to be someone who missed you. [ even if it might not of seemed that way at the time, Mollymauk would've noticed if Hugo had stopped crossing his path. he would've mourned the man and drank in his honor. ] Secondly, did you really let him change that ideal? Or was always destined to end up that way? Is it such a terrible thing that it's changed?
no subject
[ It was his way of saying that what Molly needed was someone who makes him stay, not someone who's willing to perpetuate the fear. Regardless, Hugo sigh's slowly. ]
Are you saying you would have missed me, Mollymauk? I'm touched. Using such words like 'destined', though. People are going to think I've infected you. [ A small smile pulls at his lips. ]
I'm not going to give him more credit than he deserves. You, as well as Lia, are things I have acquired by myself. He was the influence that made these things more than they used to be, as well as other points. The way I thought things would turn out didn't happen.
But. No. I am not saying the change is bad.
I worried about leaving you. I wouldn't have bothered before.
no subject
[ but there is a flash of understanding across his features. it hasn't slipped his notice that it wasn't just the heavy weight of finding Caleb again but the combination of the wizard, Hugo and Lycaon that planted his feet heavily into Kaisou's soil. that not once has he tried to engage in any sort of casual dalliance with Caleb despite his expressed desire to do so. he has given the wizard space in part out of respect and out of fear he might misstep.
but thinking about all that makes his skin itch and his attention is far more focused on the friends he almost lost. ]
'Course I would've missed you. As messy as we were, as we still are, you're my dearest friend. They can think you've infected me if they want, it'll just make the surprise when they learn I've always been like this even sweeter.
[ Molly tilts his head listening the soft 'thump' of his tail lashing about in the background as his expression shifts, the mask he usually wears in conversation utterly tossed aside. of course he wouldn't have bothered worrying about something like that before, the promise of crossing paths again was always there but never fully promised. neither of them could hold onto such a hope given the crowds they frequented. better to accept the worst possible outcome before it has even happened and protect yourself from the heartache.
but things are different here, they are different. ]
They say we think about the things that matter the most to us before we die. [ he laughs, the sound soft and a little pained remembering the message he had left Hugo in his absence. ]