[We'll see what he thinks when they get inside. But he smiles and squeezes Molly's hand appreciatively.]
Then in we go.
[Inside the portal is a truly marvelous sight: even just the first floor, which is little more than an entrance hall, is full of stained glass windows showing the schools of magic. In the center of the room is a spiral staircase to what seems like an empty platform.]
It's, ah, a little showy, I know. This is only the first floor.
[ it's a weird sensation stepping through the portal, his stomach feels like it flipped and a wave of dizziness brushes over him briefly. Molly blinks a couple of times, vision adjusting, looking over the entrance hall and the stained glass windows that line it. ]
Please, it's not nearly as showy as you think it is. [ Molly shoots him an easy smile. it's all very much Caleb, magic has been the man's passion in their previous life. ] How do you get to the other floors? The stairs don't go very far.
That's the showy part. [But he's definitely getting into it now, expression lighting up further with pride and a little mischief.] Come up and I'll show you.
[He leads Molly up to the platform, hands still joined, and then calls out:] Auf! [The brass iris in the ceiling opens up at his command.] ...Now, we simply think 'up'...
[His feet begin to lift off the ground, floating gradually up toward the next floor and tugging on Molly's hand.] Like so.
[ he follows without hesitation putting his full trust in Caleb to lead him about. he keeps pace, watching as the iris in the ceiling opens up to unveil more of the tower. Molly laughs, fingers gently squeezing Caleb's hand while the man begins to flit off the ground. ]
Okay, I take it back. This is showy.
[ just think up, that shouldn't be too hard. looking down at his feet Molly takes a short breath in and thinks up. his feet start to lift off the ground and Molly yelps in surprise, his grip on Caleb's hand tightening a little more. ]
There, you've got it! [He squeezes Molly's hand back, smiling encouragingly, as they rise up to the second floor together.
The second floor is a great hall, lit by dancing lights like the ones Caleb conjured the other night. It's smaller than the other room, but each of the nine walls is an intricately-carved wooden door. In between them are little tunnels with ramps leading up and down from them, too small for humans to travel through.]
Each of these doors goes to a room that will be useful for whatever you want to do inside - study, exercise, work on some project of one kind or another. As for the little ones...I haven't tried this yet, but I think...
[He claps his hands once.] Here, kitty, kitty!
[And just like that, a parade of shining translucent cat spirits emerge from the tunnels to greet the pair of them, sidling down the ramps and sitting attentively on the floor.] Oh...oh my. There are so many of you.
[ floating is a new feeling, an interesting feeling, one that he could get used to honestly. distantly he can't help but wonder how it'd feel to be floating during other certain activities, a thought for later perhaps. he has to keep his attention on Caleb and the tower tour. ]
Whatever you want to do, huh? [ the sly grin that finds him shifts into delight as the parade of translucent cat spirits begin to emerge from the smaller tunnels to greet them. ] You would populate your special wizard tower with cats.
[ Molly bobs down to their level and holds out a hand, his tail swishing back and forth happily. the cats remind him of his own, of ghost cat he so lovingly (and unknowingly) named after Caleb's familiar. ]
[Caleb catches Molly's tone and raises an eyebrow at it, but he doesn't quite seem disapproving - really his thought is just that if Molly would be patient he can find out that a bit further along there will be actual bedrooms.
But the giddy fondness of being surrounded by affectionate cat spirits overrides anything else he might be feeling, anyway. They approach Molly willingly when offered affection, too, a little too polite and orderly to be actual cats but still perfectly adorable.]
From what I recall, this was an existing spell that I made some adjustments to. The original included spirits like these as caretakers of the dwelling. [He scratches one behind the ears fondly.] These ones will handle simple household chores as well, I just decided they should look...a little more whimsical.
When you're ready, we can keep going up to the library on the next floor.
[ they're adorable and he would happily spend the rest of the day just staying here giving them scratches and affection. but Caleb's voice reminds him of their goal, pulling him from the spell the cats put on him. Molly straightens stretching as does so, not wholly unlike a cat would stretch. ]
It's very you. [ his voice practically bleeds fondness. ] I like it.
[ no, he loves it. this magical tower born of Caleb's mind, filled (so far) with things clearly important to his friend. if he closes his eyes he can imagine what it would be like with the rest of their friends, the warmth they would bring into it. the whole thing is a testament to growth Caleb went through and part of Molly can't help but be sad he had missed it. ]
Alright, [ he takes hold of Caleb's hand again. ] I'm ready.
[He smiles and squeezes Molly's hand, a little of that nervousness returning.]
They can come to any of the floors, so we'll see more of them as we go. [He could stay here petting the cats all day, of course, but if he lets himself indulge then he won't get to find out Molly's reaction to the other floors.
A wish and a thought have them lifting upward again to the third floor now. It is, as promised, a library, with a spiral staircase in the middle leading from a lower level to an upper one. There is cozy seating and reading lamps, and a fireplace set in one wall.
Set prominently above the fireplace is a stained glass window, which displays Mollymauk's coat in all its glory. Caleb is definitely blushing a little as their feet touch down again.]
This room should contain every book I've read. ...Not that I've taken the time to check them all.
[ it's the stain glass window that gets his attention, of course, the brilliant colours and designs a spitting image of the coat sitting comfortably on his shoulders. Caleb remembered it perfectly, every stitch and detail and he put it above the fireplace in a room filled with one of Caleb's biggest loves; books.
there's so many things he could say right now, so many quips that he could throw out to try and distract from how tight his chest feels. to distract from the rapid beating of his heart. ]
Caleb... [ did he really mean that much to him? Caleb said his death changed things, changed them, he didn't really understand how much─ not until now. Molly exhales a shaky breath, squeezing the man's hand in hopes of masking the way his hands tremble. ] This... it's beautiful.
[He's blushing harder, having trouble meeting Molly's eyes even as he squeezes his hand in return. It really does say so much about how important Molly was. To him, to all of them. All the things he can't quite put into words, laid out in architecture instead.]
I thought it might be...a bit much. [That much emotion is a lot to ask someone else to deal with, when they've only met recently.] But this place is exactly as it was, and I certainly wouldn't change it.
It's not, it's... [ it's a lot. knowing his short time with them had such an impact, that his short time with Caleb had such an impact. with his hand still in Caleb's, Molly lowers himself down onto the library floor with a shaky breath and bring his free hand to his face. they would hold him so close even after everything? even after─ ]
I'm not sure I deserve it.
[ his memories of that life, of his death and everything that followed, are a kaleidoscope of blurry images and voices and feelings. Molly has been doing his best to bottle them all up and bury them deep, for what use does he have for the experiences of that bastard? but some things come back up regardless, haunting his dreams on those nights he hasn't fallen into bed with someone.
those horrible memories of being a passenger in a body that once belonged to him, watching helpless as he struck down those he loved more than himself. his hands soaked in their blood. ]
[It's Caleb, for once, who threads their fingers together and steps closer, into Molly's personal space. He searches the other's face for clues as to what's causing this response, his own expression troubled. It's one thing to dodge responsibility, but this seems like a level of self-deprecation that he just doesn't expect from Mollymauk.]
...I told you, you...changed us. All of us. Simply by the example you set for us to live by. It's only fitting to...remember that. ['Memorialize' was the first word he was going to choose, but it just doesn't feel right to call it that when the living person is here in front of him now.]
[ Caleb laces their fingers together and Molly can't help but cling to him, his singular lifeline in a sea of guilt for something he didn't do but felt responsible for anyway. it wasn't Molly who struck down his friends, wasn't Molly who speared Jester with his wing, wasn't Molly who stabbed Caleb in his chest and stomach. it wasn't him then and it isn't him now, he shouldn't be carrying that guilt and yet...
just as Caleb worried about the person he was, the person he could become, Molly fears the parts of Lucien that might be in him. ]
I'm glad, really. That I managed to leave you lot better than I found you but... [ he laughs and the sound is almost pitiful. ] For all the good I did my bullshit hurt you, all of you. I'm not him, I'm not some asshole trying to take over the world or whatever the fuck that bastard was trying to do. But I'm scared, I'm fucking terrified, that part of him is still in here.
[ his eyes sting with tears Molly refuses to let fall, the dam all but shattered in the face of the love they bore him─ that Caleb clearly bore him. ]
I don't... I don't want to watch myself kill the people I love again. I don't want to watch you die again.
[Caleb listens patiently, quietly, and as he does, understanding begins to sink in. He really had considered Mollymauk, Lucien, and Kingsley to be entirely separate people...enough so that he hadn't entertained any thoughts that Molly might have their memories in addition to his own.
But when they fought Lucien, they'd been able to slow him down by calling out to Mollymauk. He'd helped them, fought from the inside to slow Lucien down and disrupt him. He'd been in there, in some capacity. So it makes sense that, now reborn into another life, he still has some of those memories tangled up with his own.
He pulls Molly into a tight embrace.]
You won't. You won't, Mollymauk. Because even at your weakest, even when he had all that ancient power inside him, you still fought him for us. You still saved us. I remember that too. You are not him.
[ gods he wants to believe it, wants so desperately to believe those extra memories wont in some way taint him─ if they haven't already. he remembers some of those terrible months under his adoptive "parents" care, nights where the smell of blood filled his nose and his thoughts turned dark. darker than anything Mollymauk thought himself capable of. was that his influence? the devil on his shoulder urging him to coat his hands in blood.
Molly's pulled in to a hug, his body tensing for half a breath before he sinks into the embrace, wrapping his arms around the wizard's waist, clinging tightly onto his clothes. he presses his face into the crook of Caleb's neck, breathing in shakily; he smells of cinnamon and ink, of safety and home. ]
I'm sorry. [ he doesn't have anything to apologize for but he does it anyway. apologises for not being able to do more, for leaving them heartbroken for so damn long, for every wasted opportunity. ] I'm sorry, I'm a mess.
[It's so absurd that he can't help but laugh softly, even as he holds Molly tucked against himself, rubs his back soothingly, eases away the tension as well as he can. His voice is barely above a murmur, just for the two of them, even though there's no way they could possibly be overheard here.]
Hush, now, why would you ever apologize for that? Are we or are we not the Mighty Nein?
[there are only two of them, but inaccurate counting has never slowed them down yet]
[ Molly can't help but be swept up in the soothing hand rubbing his back and the soft laugh brushing against his horns. just the man's presence is enough to pull him from his pit of fear and paranoia, bringing him back up into the warmth of the sun. ]
When did you get so good at this? [ his grip on Caleb's clothes loosens but Molly doesn't pull away from the hug, distantly he remembers the whole reason Caleb asked him to come over that there's still more of this brilliant tower for the wizard to show him─ but he's comfortable in the man's arms, warm. ] Whoever taught you how to take care of people must have been real talented and incredibly handsome.
[Caleb doesn't pull back either. This is comfortable, and the tower will be here. As much as he denies himself for so many reasons, he's a person who craves this kind of contact and comfort, so he's not eager to leave it now that they're here.
And with that compliment he's feeling just a little bold, so...he'll brush a little of Molly's hair out of his eyes and lean in to place a barely-there kiss on his forehead. Returning a tiny kindness that meant so much once upon a time.]
[ he feels it on his forehead, that gentle brush of a lips against skin. it burns like a brand and Molly feels himself breathing in sharply. he remembers that tiny kindness, it was the first thing he remembered when he saw Caleb's face on the network. it was done in the spur of the moment, a gentle apology for having slapped the man from his stupor a mere breath before and Caleb returning that kindness now? it tugs at things in his chest the tiefling is scared to name. ]
'Course you do, what with that brilliantly sexy brain of yours.
[ taking a breath he pulls away a fraction, fingers not quite unhooking from the other man's clothing, eyes searching Caleb's face. he's so terribly handsome without that layer of dirt the man had often smeared himself with─ he was handsome with the dirt, being clean only magnified that handsomeness ten fold. add in his good heart and that magnificent mind of his and it's just unfair, how is Molly supposed to think straight like this? how is he supposed to be good, keep his hands to himself and not─ ]
[It's not that he doesn't want to. He's decided this is a thing he wants, or...a thing he will want? That it's where they're going and he's going to actively tread toward that path.
Why does it still feel like it's too soon? Is he just being a coward? Is he denying them for no reason? He has to find a way to put this hesitation into words, or it's just going to be hurting Molly, and that's the last thing he wants to do, especially now.]
I want to comfort you. And I do...want to kiss you. But...I want those to be different things. I... [He swallows hard, eyes wandering away from Molly's not out of shame but because it is just impossible to think with that thread of intimate focus pulled so tight between them.] Can you still be patient with me, if I want it to be some other moment? A happier one?
[They can reach for each other in the darkness without it being a romance. Caleb wants love to be more than just holding onto a person who he doesn't want to leave.]
[ Molly laughs just a little too quickly. shit, he did say that out loud and now he feels more than a little foolish. he detaches himself from Caleb then, trying not to think about the warmth in his cheeks or how his skin is most definitely darkening with embarrassment. ]
Hey, no, that's fine really. Sorry, my foot went directly into my mouth and I wasn't thinking. [ he was thinking, just about how much he wants to kiss the man rather than keeping those thoughts under lock and key. the last thing he wants is for Caleb to feel pressured into anything. ] Didn't think I said that out loud but here we are, haha.
[ he runs a hand through his hair, scratching at his scalp. Caleb wants to kiss him, wants it to mean something more than just a spur of the moment thing. it's exciting and terrifying at the same time, his pulse practically roaring in his veins. ]
[The blushing is really cute, and the moment Molly backs off and admits that even he didn't really mean to go that far, Caleb is instantly relieved. Setting his boundaries for his own comfort is necessary, but he really doesn't want to hurt Molly in the process.
Admitting that he's interested in more than a fling might have been a step in the right direction. Caleb just can't bring himself to do casual or short-term relationships.]
We do, at that. [He clears his throat and gets up, straightening his clothes a little and feeling the heat in his own skin. Someday it will be the right moment. He's going to work through his feelings as quickly as he can, for both their sakes.] The dining room and kitchens are on the fourth floor, and the next few after that are the bedroom suites. [He tilts his head, considering.] ...There was one for each of us, but...I don't know if it will have manifested one for you already, or if I'll need to design that manually.
[ there is little he could really do to hurt Molly, it is important that the boundaries set are there and are respected. he's free with his physical affections when it comes to the people he cares about, but he is not the kind of man who will break any boundaries that are placed.
he won't admit, not out loud at least, that Molly wished for something more than a fling. he has enjoyed, and is still enjoying, his fair share of flings but when it comes to Caleb? he wants more than to just come together and indulge in each other. he wants to hold him, fall asleep in his arms, wake up with a face full of cat and listen to the sound of his heartbeat.
it's exhilarating feeling, terrifying, and ever growing. ]
You made a room for everyone? [ there's something about that that hits home, makes his chest ache. ] We don't have to see them all today, but... [ maybe if he sees the rooms Caleb made for them he'll remember bits of them, the people he loved and still loves. ]
[He reaches for Molly's hand again with a smile, and sets them to rising into the air once again. The fourth floor is relatively unremarkable, a nine-sided landing area with one dramatically large set of carved wooden doors in one room. Caleb explains as they float upward:]
The dining room is through those doors. We can see it later, there's enough room for all of us and guests. The kitchens are on this floor too - you can watch the cats work if you like. They can travel to any level of the tower, but this is their...home base, if you like.
[He doesn't stop them here, instead continuing up to the landing of the fifth floor. It's small, with the same nine walls as every level; there are three evenly-spaced doors around the circle. One is decorated with a scarab beetle, one with lilacs, and the third is plain.]
...Ah, well. [He gestures to the door with the beetle.] That one isn't anyone you'd know...Caduceus was a healer we encountered when we were looking for help after...afterward. But the room with the lilacs is Yasha's. The other was a guest room, and I suppose it probably still is. I'll have to convert it once I know what you'd like to have.
no subject
Then in we go.
[Inside the portal is a truly marvelous sight: even just the first floor, which is little more than an entrance hall, is full of stained glass windows showing the schools of magic. In the center of the room is a spiral staircase to what seems like an empty platform.]
It's, ah, a little showy, I know. This is only the first floor.
no subject
Please, it's not nearly as showy as you think it is. [ Molly shoots him an easy smile. it's all very much Caleb, magic has been the man's passion in their previous life. ] How do you get to the other floors? The stairs don't go very far.
no subject
[He leads Molly up to the platform, hands still joined, and then calls out:] Auf! [The brass iris in the ceiling opens up at his command.] ...Now, we simply think 'up'...
[His feet begin to lift off the ground, floating gradually up toward the next floor and tugging on Molly's hand.] Like so.
no subject
Okay, I take it back. This is showy.
[ just think up, that shouldn't be too hard. looking down at his feet Molly takes a short breath in and thinks up. his feet start to lift off the ground and Molly yelps in surprise, his grip on Caleb's hand tightening a little more. ]
no subject
The second floor is a great hall, lit by dancing lights like the ones Caleb conjured the other night. It's smaller than the other room, but each of the nine walls is an intricately-carved wooden door. In between them are little tunnels with ramps leading up and down from them, too small for humans to travel through.]
Each of these doors goes to a room that will be useful for whatever you want to do inside - study, exercise, work on some project of one kind or another. As for the little ones...I haven't tried this yet, but I think...
[He claps his hands once.] Here, kitty, kitty!
[And just like that, a parade of shining translucent cat spirits emerge from the tunnels to greet the pair of them, sidling down the ramps and sitting attentively on the floor.] Oh...oh my. There are so many of you.
no subject
Whatever you want to do, huh? [ the sly grin that finds him shifts into delight as the parade of translucent cat spirits begin to emerge from the smaller tunnels to greet them. ] You would populate your special wizard tower with cats.
[ Molly bobs down to their level and holds out a hand, his tail swishing back and forth happily. the cats remind him of his own, of ghost cat he so lovingly (and unknowingly) named after Caleb's familiar. ]
Look at all of them.
no subject
But the giddy fondness of being surrounded by affectionate cat spirits overrides anything else he might be feeling, anyway. They approach Molly willingly when offered affection, too, a little too polite and orderly to be actual cats but still perfectly adorable.]
From what I recall, this was an existing spell that I made some adjustments to. The original included spirits like these as caretakers of the dwelling. [He scratches one behind the ears fondly.] These ones will handle simple household chores as well, I just decided they should look...a little more whimsical.
When you're ready, we can keep going up to the library on the next floor.
no subject
It's very you. [ his voice practically bleeds fondness. ] I like it.
[ no, he loves it. this magical tower born of Caleb's mind, filled (so far) with things clearly important to his friend. if he closes his eyes he can imagine what it would be like with the rest of their friends, the warmth they would bring into it. the whole thing is a testament to growth Caleb went through and part of Molly can't help but be sad he had missed it. ]
Alright, [ he takes hold of Caleb's hand again. ] I'm ready.
no subject
They can come to any of the floors, so we'll see more of them as we go. [He could stay here petting the cats all day, of course, but if he lets himself indulge then he won't get to find out Molly's reaction to the other floors.
A wish and a thought have them lifting upward again to the third floor now. It is, as promised, a library, with a spiral staircase in the middle leading from a lower level to an upper one. There is cozy seating and reading lamps, and a fireplace set in one wall.
Set prominently above the fireplace is a stained glass window, which displays Mollymauk's coat in all its glory. Caleb is definitely blushing a little as their feet touch down again.]
This room should contain every book I've read. ...Not that I've taken the time to check them all.
no subject
there's so many things he could say right now, so many quips that he could throw out to try and distract from how tight his chest feels. to distract from the rapid beating of his heart. ]
Caleb... [ did he really mean that much to him? Caleb said his death changed things, changed them, he didn't really understand how much─ not until now. Molly exhales a shaky breath, squeezing the man's hand in hopes of masking the way his hands tremble. ] This... it's beautiful.
no subject
I thought it might be...a bit much. [That much emotion is a lot to ask someone else to deal with, when they've only met recently.] But this place is exactly as it was, and I certainly wouldn't change it.
no subject
I'm not sure I deserve it.
[ his memories of that life, of his death and everything that followed, are a kaleidoscope of blurry images and voices and feelings. Molly has been doing his best to bottle them all up and bury them deep, for what use does he have for the experiences of that bastard? but some things come back up regardless, haunting his dreams on those nights he hasn't fallen into bed with someone.
those horrible memories of being a passenger in a body that once belonged to him, watching helpless as he struck down those he loved more than himself. his hands soaked in their blood. ]
no subject
[It's Caleb, for once, who threads their fingers together and steps closer, into Molly's personal space. He searches the other's face for clues as to what's causing this response, his own expression troubled. It's one thing to dodge responsibility, but this seems like a level of self-deprecation that he just doesn't expect from Mollymauk.]
...I told you, you...changed us. All of us. Simply by the example you set for us to live by. It's only fitting to...remember that. ['Memorialize' was the first word he was going to choose, but it just doesn't feel right to call it that when the living person is here in front of him now.]
no subject
just as Caleb worried about the person he was, the person he could become, Molly fears the parts of Lucien that might be in him. ]
I'm glad, really. That I managed to leave you lot better than I found you but... [ he laughs and the sound is almost pitiful. ] For all the good I did my bullshit hurt you, all of you. I'm not him, I'm not some asshole trying to take over the world or whatever the fuck that bastard was trying to do. But I'm scared, I'm fucking terrified, that part of him is still in here.
[ his eyes sting with tears Molly refuses to let fall, the dam all but shattered in the face of the love they bore him─ that Caleb clearly bore him. ]
I don't... I don't want to watch myself kill the people I love again. I don't want to watch you die again.
no subject
But when they fought Lucien, they'd been able to slow him down by calling out to Mollymauk. He'd helped them, fought from the inside to slow Lucien down and disrupt him. He'd been in there, in some capacity. So it makes sense that, now reborn into another life, he still has some of those memories tangled up with his own.
He pulls Molly into a tight embrace.]
You won't. You won't, Mollymauk. Because even at your weakest, even when he had all that ancient power inside him, you still fought him for us. You still saved us. I remember that too. You are not him.
no subject
Molly's pulled in to a hug, his body tensing for half a breath before he sinks into the embrace, wrapping his arms around the wizard's waist, clinging tightly onto his clothes. he presses his face into the crook of Caleb's neck, breathing in shakily; he smells of cinnamon and ink, of safety and home. ]
I'm sorry. [ he doesn't have anything to apologize for but he does it anyway. apologises for not being able to do more, for leaving them heartbroken for so damn long, for every wasted opportunity. ] I'm sorry, I'm a mess.
no subject
[It's so absurd that he can't help but laugh softly, even as he holds Molly tucked against himself, rubs his back soothingly, eases away the tension as well as he can. His voice is barely above a murmur, just for the two of them, even though there's no way they could possibly be overheard here.]
Hush, now, why would you ever apologize for that? Are we or are we not the Mighty Nein?
[there are only two of them, but inaccurate counting has never slowed them down yet]
no subject
[ Molly can't help but be swept up in the soothing hand rubbing his back and the soft laugh brushing against his horns. just the man's presence is enough to pull him from his pit of fear and paranoia, bringing him back up into the warmth of the sun. ]
When did you get so good at this? [ his grip on Caleb's clothes loosens but Molly doesn't pull away from the hug, distantly he remembers the whole reason Caleb asked him to come over that there's still more of this brilliant tower for the wizard to show him─ but he's comfortable in the man's arms, warm. ] Whoever taught you how to take care of people must have been real talented and incredibly handsome.
no subject
[Caleb doesn't pull back either. This is comfortable, and the tower will be here. As much as he denies himself for so many reasons, he's a person who craves this kind of contact and comfort, so he's not eager to leave it now that they're here.
And with that compliment he's feeling just a little bold, so...he'll brush a little of Molly's hair out of his eyes and lean in to place a barely-there kiss on his forehead. Returning a tiny kindness that meant so much once upon a time.]
And I do learn quickly, you know.
no subject
'Course you do, what with that brilliantly sexy brain of yours.
[ taking a breath he pulls away a fraction, fingers not quite unhooking from the other man's clothing, eyes searching Caleb's face. he's so terribly handsome without that layer of dirt the man had often smeared himself with─ he was handsome with the dirt, being clean only magnified that handsomeness ten fold. add in his good heart and that magnificent mind of his and it's just unfair, how is Molly supposed to think straight like this? how is he supposed to be good, keep his hands to himself and not─ ]
Gods, I want to kiss you right now.
[ ...did he say that out loud? ]
no subject
[It's not that he doesn't want to. He's decided this is a thing he wants, or...a thing he will want? That it's where they're going and he's going to actively tread toward that path.
Why does it still feel like it's too soon? Is he just being a coward? Is he denying them for no reason? He has to find a way to put this hesitation into words, or it's just going to be hurting Molly, and that's the last thing he wants to do, especially now.]
I want to comfort you. And I do...want to kiss you. But...I want those to be different things. I... [He swallows hard, eyes wandering away from Molly's not out of shame but because it is just impossible to think with that thread of intimate focus pulled so tight between them.] Can you still be patient with me, if I want it to be some other moment? A happier one?
[They can reach for each other in the darkness without it being a romance. Caleb wants love to be more than just holding onto a person who he doesn't want to leave.]
no subject
Hey, no, that's fine really. Sorry, my foot went directly into my mouth and I wasn't thinking. [ he was thinking, just about how much he wants to kiss the man rather than keeping those thoughts under lock and key. the last thing he wants is for Caleb to feel pressured into anything. ] Didn't think I said that out loud but here we are, haha.
[ he runs a hand through his hair, scratching at his scalp. Caleb wants to kiss him, wants it to mean something more than just a spur of the moment thing. it's exciting and terrifying at the same time, his pulse practically roaring in his veins. ]
We've still got some more tower to see, right?
no subject
Admitting that he's interested in more than a fling might have been a step in the right direction. Caleb just can't bring himself to do casual or short-term relationships.]
We do, at that. [He clears his throat and gets up, straightening his clothes a little and feeling the heat in his own skin. Someday it will be the right moment. He's going to work through his feelings as quickly as he can, for both their sakes.] The dining room and kitchens are on the fourth floor, and the next few after that are the bedroom suites. [He tilts his head, considering.] ...There was one for each of us, but...I don't know if it will have manifested one for you already, or if I'll need to design that manually.
no subject
he won't admit, not out loud at least, that Molly wished for something more than a fling. he has enjoyed, and is still enjoying, his fair share of flings but when it comes to Caleb? he wants more than to just come together and indulge in each other. he wants to hold him, fall asleep in his arms, wake up with a face full of cat and listen to the sound of his heartbeat.
it's exhilarating feeling, terrifying, and ever growing. ]
You made a room for everyone? [ there's something about that that hits home, makes his chest ache. ] We don't have to see them all today, but... [ maybe if he sees the rooms Caleb made for them he'll remember bits of them, the people he loved and still loves. ]
no subject
[He reaches for Molly's hand again with a smile, and sets them to rising into the air once again. The fourth floor is relatively unremarkable, a nine-sided landing area with one dramatically large set of carved wooden doors in one room. Caleb explains as they float upward:]
The dining room is through those doors. We can see it later, there's enough room for all of us and guests. The kitchens are on this floor too - you can watch the cats work if you like. They can travel to any level of the tower, but this is their...home base, if you like.
[He doesn't stop them here, instead continuing up to the landing of the fifth floor. It's small, with the same nine walls as every level; there are three evenly-spaced doors around the circle. One is decorated with a scarab beetle, one with lilacs, and the third is plain.]
...Ah, well. [He gestures to the door with the beetle.] That one isn't anyone you'd know...Caduceus was a healer we encountered when we were looking for help after...afterward. But the room with the lilacs is Yasha's. The other was a guest room, and I suppose it probably still is. I'll have to convert it once I know what you'd like to have.
(no subject)